Som-o Ja!

It takes awhile since last blog. I'm kind of busy with stuffs here.
Now it's in the rainy season in Panama. It rains a lot as its' name. I love raining and the feeling of seeing the rain.

I have around 2 months and a half to go with my research in Panama. My advisor will be here very soon.
I have been here for 3 months, I couldn't believe it. Ummm it sounds positive, doesn't it? hehehehe
I'm happy with this visit to Panama. I have been exploring Panama more than last visit. I work on my own under my advisor's guidance.
I make new friends and have a good time hanging out with friends here. I'm learning Spanish (even if it's going very slow but I'm feeling good).
It couldn't be better.

Now I have a room mate. She is a PhD student from Taiwan. She goes to school in Michigan though.
We are getting along. We will be room mate for a month until the end of June.

Well, I should get going :)
see you soon

That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence
Love - Devotion
Feeling - Emotion
Love - Devotion
Feeling - Emotion
Don't be afraid to be weak
Don't be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence
If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself don't hide
Just believe in destiny
Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and use the chance
To return to innocence
That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence
Don't care what people say
Follow just your own way Follow just your own way
Don't give up, don't give up
To return, to return to innocence.
If you want then laugh
If you must then cry
Be yourself don't hide
Just believe in destiny.

Song from Enigma (1994)

Things that make my day.
1. One day in my working life
I'm in Panama while my adviser is in Illinois. I called my adviser to update my work and discuss something. He knew what I have done, what I'm doing and what I'm gonna do. I knew his suggestions about work and what I should do more for my work. Great to call him.
Before we hung up, he said "Pim!, we miss you." Oh! man my heart was just full of energy. I smiled on phone, " I miss you, too." I said and " you should come to Panama."
It might be just the thing people say normally when they are far away from each other. For me, it's just a little thing making my day when I hear that. At least he cares how I'm doing not just work I have done. Now I learn how I will treat my students in the future.
2. Every moment that I get emails from "someone", I bond to
It's just like everyday that I send him email(s). I couldn't say that I don't expect replies from him. Every time that I get emails back makes me smile. I'm trying not to expect and wait for responses, but it's just hard. I'm better though about expectation. I know that just thinking of him and how we spent time together when we were close makes my day.
3. Every moment that I get a phone call from my parents
Papa and mama just a couple of people that never forget me. I never forget them either. Thank you my destiny letting me born to be their girl. Love you papa and mama :)
4. Me
I make my day. Encouragement comes from inside. No one makes your day as well as you make your own. Think about things you have accomplished at the end of the day; they can be big or small moves. It's good to think about them; It can be a thought of other people who make your day :)

Hello Panama,
I have been with you more than a week now. I'm feeling adjusted, comfortable and familiar with you. Thank you for being hard with me at the first week.
It made me feel better after I'd noticed that I'm adjusted.

Anyway, being in Panama is like coming back to simplicity. The simple life doesn't mean unproductive life. Personally, the simple life is a life with calmness, peacefulness and mindfulness. I spend most of the time here being with myself, and few time with other people. I read books more than when I was in US. I spend sometimes appreciate the nature. I would like to talk about a book I'm reading now, which is "The Practice of Wholeness." I just began reading chapter one and I like the way the author talk about wholeness of life. I'll talk about it later. It's time for taking a shower and go to bed :)

Finally, it comes down to what I have to make a decision about my future study.
It's not that rush but I just wanna get rid of bothering thoughts in my head.
Anyway, I selected to continue my PhD program in UIUC under supervising of Jim Dalling.
My first intention was to move to another university. I got rid of that idea and turned to the thing I have in my hands.
I am holding a diamond which I really like. Sometimes people just search out for the things which they don't learn that they are in their hands.
I don't argue anything because everyone has the different ways of life. It depends on individuals.
Now, I hold my diamond tightly. I believe that this diamond is gonna bring me happiness.

By the way, other than that is to survive in Panama for the next 6 months.
I need to create my own (thesis) diamond, to prove that I am qualified to hold another diamond longer.